36 Essential Life Lessons I Wish I Knew Sooner

To celebrate my 36 birthday I’m sharing 36 life lessons I wish I knew sooner.

1. The universe has been conspiring for 13.8 billion years to deliver you as a gift. Let the world experience this once in a lifetime gift.

2. Deep reflection of my failures and most challenging times  allowed me to see the tremendous lessons they provided. Your darkest moments can provide the greatest light if you’re willing to face them. Always ask, What can I learn from this moment?

3. In ten years, you will  look in the mirror, and someone will stare back. That person will be shaped by the thoughts and actions of today. The life you have is a reflection of what you think and do. What you think is what you become. Think beautiful and great thoughts and then follow those up with the actions that align with them and that’s what you’ll become.

4. Mapping out the vision you have for your life and who you want to become is a game changer. Two questions that have helped with this,

   What’s worth doing even if I fail?

   Who do I have to become to achieve all that I want?

5. There is no speed limit to personal growth. In an instant we can form a new idea, belief or dream that alters our life forever. Once you realize there are no speed limits, only plateaus, you can step on the gas as hard as possible because that fuel source never runs out.

6. Life is not a problem to be solved or a destination to be reached, it’s an unfolding dance that’s to be enjoyed every step along the way.

7. The highest life you can live is when every single moment that comes before you is better off because it did. Serve the present moment with all your heart and soul. Imagine what the world would be like if everyone did that. Take responsibility for the beauty of the world.

8. If you’re serious about your growth and development, you must first accept full responsibility for your life. Don’t waste energy blaming others for circumstances or outcomes. The moment you commit to full responsibility everything changes. This means taking responsibility for your circumstances, your decisions, and your life. It is only when we take on this responsibility that we can truly begin to move forward.  We must be the captains of our own ships, the CEOs of You Inc, and the ones in charge. This is the only path to unlocking greater potential.

9. It’s all a story. Everything… Our life is a story we tell ourselves. Every experience is colored by our own interpretation. And guess what, if the story is not serving us, we have the power to change the narrative. So if we don’t like the story we’re telling, we have the power to rewrite it. Take ownership of your narrative and craft a story that serves you.

10. You have to live a life that, if everyone lived it, there would be peace. If you can’t do that, you are part of the problem, not the solution.

11. Find the people, places and things that light up your soul and then focus your time, energy and attention on them. Stop wasting your limited time on this earth on people, places and things that don’t make you feel fully alive. Invest your time in those that do—those that light up your soul.

12. In our encounters with the edges, we come to know ourselves more deeply. Run towards your edges and then leap off the cliff. When you do that what you discover is you had wings all along and you were meant to fly…

13. Life is a mysterious balance of paradoxes. The struggles and joys, the darkness and light, the death and rebirth – these are the essential components of our paths. Without the pain, pleasure would be bland. Without the darkness, we wouldn’t be able to appreciate the light. Without death, there would be no new life. This is the cycle of life.

14. Joy isn’t a feeling, it can be an outlook on life. Joy is an attitude we can choose to live by, rather than a feeling that comes and goes. When we choose joy, we can make it part of our lives, no matter what is happening around us. Joy is a powerful decision, and we all have the power to make it.

15. Beauty, it’s of no extrinsic value but the internal value it brings is immeasurable… Beauty is all around us if we’re willing to look. Not the beauty we’re sold in magazines and on billboards. But the beauty of nature. The beauty of love. The beauty of the world. Seek it. Cultivate it. Fill your life with it.

16. You can be the creator of your own energy. Energy is going to come from somewhere. We can allow it to either come from outside of us or create it internally. No longer do you have to be negatively influenced by the energy coming at you from the external world. Don’t believe me? Remember a time when you were around someone who usually sucks the life out of a room and you decided not to allow them to ruin your experience and you created the internal energy to feel your best? See, we have the power to never allow the negative energy of the external to create the energy we have internally.

17. Redirecting your negative thoughts is one of the greatest skills you can develop. We allow one negative thought to lead to another and before we know it we’re diving head first into the downward spiral. But it doesn’t have to be that way. You can train yourself to become aware of your negative thoughts and as soon as you do redirect yourself to a more empowering thought. Become Aware of your thoughts – take Aim at a more empowering thought- Act on that more empowering thought. Aware -> Aim -> Act

18. Earned success is one of the keys to a fulfilling life. If you want to taste the richness of true happiness the path is through earned success. Through doing something that pushes you to your limits. Something that challenges you and forces you to dig deep. Something no one else could hand you or do for you. Something that you had to go out and earn for yourself. That brings some of the deepest happiness you can ever experience.

19. There is a kind way to do everything. A way that has a heart.

    Ask yourself:

If this was the last world you said to someone before they died would it have made their final moment better? 

If the way you did this was how you did everything into eternity would you be happy? 

After all, you never know if this moment will be your last so you might as well not take that chance and choose kindness with every opportunity you get.

20. Become an expert at making the thing you dream become a reality. Everywhere we look we’re surrounded by the manifestations of someone else’s dream. The clothes we’re wearing, the house we live in, the devices we use—all of them were once someone else’s dream. But you can do the same. You can dream up a beautiful life and live it, create a world-changing business, make a device to help those who are disabled, or produce a work of art that has never been seen before. Today as you embark on this world remember, someone is going to accomplish your dreams… Why not make it you?

21. Few things are as rewarding than finding your gifts and sharing them. Find what ignites your soul. Find the things that are worthy of your fear and joy and focus. To discover those you need to listen to the quiet whispers. Live deeply on your own inner guidance.

22. You can do everything right and it still turns out wrong and you can do everything wrong and it still turns out right. The outcome in life isn’t always tied to the quality of your behavior but that doesn’t mean to not give it your best. Ask yourself, Did I give it my best? Let that be your measure of success.

23. I believe that everyone is doing the best they are capable of in the moment. If I had been born as them and had every single life experience they did, at that moment I would have made the exact some choice or taken the exact same action. Just because I would have done something different doesn’t mean they were capable of doing that. This idea has filled me with a lot more compassion.

24. The tiniest of actions is always better than the noblest of intentions. Dream big. Start small. Act now.

25. Two Conversations you should be having every week. The first is with someone you can learn from like a mentor, thought leader or expert in their field. The second is with someone who you can share your struggles, obstacles and be completely honest with. The compounding effect these two have on your life will be incalculable. 

26. The universe is an infinite playground of magical possibilities and we get to live in that playground. There are always more possibilities, they just require imagination.

27. The best things in life are free but require the most amount of work. Great marriages don’t just happen. Self mastery can’t be bought. A fortified mind and a chiseled body won’t be found on aisle 6 of the grocery store. To be able to call someone an old friend requires decades of work. Put in the work and enjoy the fruits of your labor.

28. Cherish your mind and your body; it is the only temple your soul will live in during this lifetime. Find time each day to feed them. Learn something, move your body, nourish your soul and laugh uncontrollably.

29. The real test of character is defined by your actions in your darkest hours. Be the person you want to be; Do the actions consistent with those values; Have whatever comes from those actions.

30. Never rob someone of hope, it may be all they have left. Never say anything that couldn’t stand as the last thing that’s ever said to someone.

31. The easiest way to gain happiness is to want the things you already have. Express gratitude for it all. Amor Fati.

32. Go through this life so you make the eyes shine on everyone you interact with. Let the world feel the power of your gravity. Maximize your humanity. We’re only going through this life but once, so anytime there is an opportunity for you to express kindness or do a good deed, do it now for that opportunity will not present itself again. Simply be an artist making this world more beautiful.

33. Pause to enjoy the breezes. 

34. After all these years and experiences, you’ll know nothing, nothing at all, that compares to the love for another person when it comes to reaching immensity and infinity. Love conquers all.

35. You can fail at something you hate doing so you might as well take a chance doing something you love.

36. Our mind creates the cage that we live in and it has the key to unlock it. Never forget that.

Dream…Be You… Live Beautifully…Enjoy… Love.Sean

 

Share the life lessons that have had the greatest impact on you in the comments section!

33 Quotes That Will Change How You Live Your Life

I recently asked people the question, “If all of the highlights from the books you’ve read disappear except for 5… which 5 highlights would you choose to keep?

So I decided to think deeply on that question and select mine. I’ve read hundreds of books and have tens of thousands of highlights and quotes so distilling it down was not easy. So in my typical ways I couldn’t contain myself to just 5 so here are my 33 favorite highlights and quotes that as of May 2023 are having the most profound impact on me. 

In no particular order

I

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

-Howard Thurman

II

“I was 45 years old, and I’d been conducting for 20 years or more and suddenly I had the realization for the first time that the conductor of an orchestra doesn’t make a sound. Now my picture appears on the front of the CD. But the conductor doesn’t actually make a sound. He depends for his power on his ability to make other people powerful. And when that occurred to me, it was so profound, it had such an effect on me that people in the orchestra said, Ben, what happened to you? And that’s what happened. I realized that my job was to awaken possibility in other people.

Now the real question became was I doing that. And the way you find out whether you’re doing that is to look at their eyes. And if the eyes are shining you know you’re doing it. 

And if the eyes are not shining, you get to ask the question. 

And this is the question: who am I being that my players’ eyes are not shining?”

– Benjamin Zander

III

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

― Mary Oliver

IV

“Escape competition through authenticity. No one can compete with you, on being you.”

-Naval Ravikant

V

“I cursed the fact I had no shoes until I saw the man who had no feet.”

-Persian proverb

VI

“You were born with potential.

You were born with goodness and trust. You were born with ideals and dreams. You were born with greatness.

You were born with wings.

You are not meant for crawling, so don’t.

You have wings.

Learn to use them and fly.”

— Rumi

VII

“If you are doing something you would do for nothing, then you are on your way to salvation. And if you could drop it in a minute and forget the outcome, you are even further along. And if, while you are doing it, you are transported into another existence, there is no need for you to worry about the future.”

–Dr. George Sheehan, Running and Being

VIII

“The highest life you can live is when every single moment that passes before you is better off because it did. Serve the present moment with all your heart and soul. Imagine what the world would be like if everyone did that.”

–Michael Singer, Living Untethered 

IX

“We suffer more in imagination than in reality.”

-Seneca

X

Inscribed on five of the six pillars in the Holocaust Memorial at Quincy Market in Boston are stories that speak of the cruelty and suffering in the camps. The sixth pillar presents a tale of a different sort, about a little girl named Ilse, a childhood friend of Guerda Weissman Kline, in Auschwitz. Guerda remembers that Ilse, who was about six years old at the time, found one morning a single raspberry somewhere in the camp. Ilse carried it all day long in a protected place in her pocket, and in the evening, her eyes shining with happiness, she presented it to her friend Guerda on a leaf. “Imagine a world,” writes Guerda, “in which your entire possession is one raspberry, and you give it to your friend.”

XI

“Life can be much broader, once you discover one simple fact, and that is that everything around you that you call ‘life’ was made up by people that were no smarter than you. And you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use. Once you learn that, you’ll never be the same again.”

– Steve Jobs

XII

“The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.”

-Joseph Campbell

XIII

“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure that you seek.”

-Joseph Campbell

XIV

“If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me.”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

XV

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”

– W.H. Murray

XVI

Our greatest tendency is to cheat ourselves. We think we can enjoy the fullness and richness of life without paying for it. 

“We lead lives inferior to ourselves.” as William James said. But a great life requires struggle. What matters is making the most of what each of us was born with and pursuing our own excellence. 

We all share one power infinitely more important than talent: willpower. In this power all of us are created equal. Each of us is capable of the ideal or moral action, which William James defined in this way: “It is the action in the line of the greatest resistance.” 

ANYONE so inclined can decide on ideal action. The will considers the question, Will you or won’t you have it so? And in that decision you can be the equal of anyone else. “Effort is the measure of a man”, wrote James. So each of us makes the choice of the effort we will give. 

– Dr. George Sheehan, Personal Best 

XVII

“Mastery is the best goal because the rich can’t buy it, the impatient can’t rush it, the privileged can’t inherit it, and nobody can steal it. You can only earn it through hard work. Mastery is the ultimate status.”

– Derek Sivers, How To Live 

XVIII

“You have to live a life that, if everyone lived it, there would be peace. If you can’t do that, you are part of the problem, not the solution.”

– Michael Singer, Living Untethered 

XIX

“We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.”

~ Carlos Castaneda

XX

“In one bold stroke you can transform today.”

Marilyn Grey

XXI

“One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.”

– Sigmund Freud

XXII

“If you’re looking for a formula for greatness, the closest we’ll ever get is this: consistency driven by a deep love of the work.”

— Maria Popova

XXIII

“Let the beauty of what you love be what you do, there are a thousand ways to kneel and kiss the earth.”

-Rumi

XXIV

Even after all this time, The sun never says to the earth, “You owe me.” Look what happens with a love like that, It lights the whole sky.

-Hafiz

XXV

If God

Invited you to a party

And said,

‘Everyone

In the ballroom tonight

Will be my special

Guest…’

How would you then treat them

When you

Arrived?

Indeed, indeed!

And I know

There is no one in this world

Who

Is not upon

His Jeweled Dance

Floor

-Hafiz

XXVI

“I know only two things,” a student said to Rollo May. “One, I will be dead someday; two, I am not dead now. The only question is what I shall do between those points.”

XXVII

Quincy Jones understands magic. He sees the universe as an infinite playground of

magical possibilities. He recognizes miraculous potential in every moment and every

thing and everyone around him. His superpower is that he has learned to present himself

to the universe as a lightning rod, placing himself perfectly to capture and conduct the

ever-present, ever-recurring magical flashes of brilliance surrounding us all.

Quincy Jones is an intuitive, artistic storm chaser. He can sense the subtle flickerings of the

impossible preparing to strike.

Quincy used to say, ‘Things are always impossible, right up until they’re not!” He leamed

how to prepare the environment and invited the energy in; he saw himself as the

“conductor,” both in the electrical sense and the musical definition. His main job was to keep

all of us from missing the miracle, from blocking the subtle magical opportunity that was

obviously (to him) presenting itself.

Even though these possibilities are abundantly and perpetually flowing around us, we

can miss them, or even worse, block or repel them.

This was an idea that Quincy understood fully. Magic demands awareness (faith–you have to

believe in magic); preparation (move the rock-we must identify and eradicate the poisonous

resistances and impediments within ourselves); then, surrender (stay out of the way and trust

the magic to do what it does).

Quincy helped people get their rocks out of the way of the blessed light that is always trying to

shine in. The universe wants you to have the miracle!

An alchemist is a spiritual chemist, a master of transmutation. The great feat of an alchemist is

that they can do the impossible: They can turn lead into gold. This concept erupted in my

mind–the ability to take anything that life gives you and turn it into gold.

Quincy Jones is an alchemist, and he had set my mind on fire; I had never met anybody like

him. I wanted to be an alchemist, too. I wanted to be able to transform anything and everything that life gave me into gold.”

–Will Smith, Will  

XXVIII

“Everyone has an invisible sign hanging from their neck saying, ‘Make me feel important.”

-Mary Kay Ash

XXIX

“After all these years and experiences, I know nothing, nothing at all, that compares to the love for another person when it comes to reaching immensity and infinity.”

– Brunello Cucinelli 

XXX

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”

– Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

XXXI

“Simple kindness to one’s self and all that lives is the most powerful transformational force of all. It produces no backlash, has no downside, and never leads to loss or despair. It increases one’s own true power without exacting any toll. But to reach maximum power such kindness can permit no exceptions, nor can it be practiced with the expectation of some selfish gain or reward. And its effect is as far-reaching as it is subtle.”

– David Hawkins, Power vs Force

XXXII

“If I were to wish for anything, I should not wish for wealth and power, but for the passionate sense of the potential, for the eye which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible. Pleasure disappoints, possibility never. And what wine is so sparkling, what so fragrant, what so intoxicating, as possibility!”

-Soren Kierkegaard

XXXIII

“Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Share your favorite quotes in the comments section