Sometimes the best lessons are learned from the most unlikely sources… During this unique time in history that is filled with chaos and the unknown, my son taught me more about life then I could have ever imagined. Who would have thought a little boy who just turned 19 months could provide clearer thinking during this time? Here are the life lessons I learned from my son, Dax.
The activities that cost nothing can bring the most joy
With all of the day to day luxuries we’ve come accustomed to and almost feel we “need” my son showed me we don’t. He didn’t care about any of that… He just kept saying, “Sharks! Sharks! Sharks!” My wife filled a bucket with rice and hid plastic sharks in it. We gave Dax little shovels and rakes and he had the time of his life. It wasn’t fancy but it brought more joy to him then any expensive toy could have. It was the best thing we did all week. A good story, looking through old photos, and taking a walk can become the most enjoyable experience you have.
We experience panic based on how those around us are acting
Around 5:00 each night, Dax gets his second wind and races around the house. He tripped and went flying when he slipped on one of his trucks. He went crashing to the floor faster then most of our stock portfolios this week. You could see the immediate fear on his face and the buildup of tears that we’re imminent. He looked up to his mom as most children do. Then my wife started laughing. Immediately his face changed and he too began laughing. In times like these, we find comfort in reacting to the emotions of those around us. Unfortunately, this week most people are reacting negatively to the herd mentality of everyone panicking. Sometimes when everyone is panicking, the reaction is warranted, other times it is not.
What looks like a good idea can turn out to be a very bad idea
We got Daxton a coloring book and markers to express his creative side. As the young Da Vinci was feverishly putting his markers to work in the book, I decided to turn my back and grab a refreshing beverage. When I came back he decided the coloring book was no longer worthy of his masterpiece and elected to grace our white family room wall with his abstract picture. Getting him markers and a coloring book seemed like a great idea but can quickly turn into a bad decision when the situation changes. What looks like a good decision can quickly turn into a very bad decision.
Most of the errors we make in life are fixable
Just when I thought all hope was lost and our walls were going to need to be repainted, my wife showed up with a magical pad that was like something out of the wizarding world of Harry Potter and removed all the marker ink from the wall! We’re all feeling a lot of pain and discomfort in the world today, but like the markers on the wall, most errors in life are fixable even if at first they don’t appear so.
When you’re drowning, sometimes you just need to stand up and realize the water isn’t as deep as you thought
When it’s the middle of March and you live in South Florida, you go to the beach (until they closed them last night), and send photos to friends and family in the northeast. Dax and I were playing in shallow water and a small wave knocked him off balance and face first into the water. Water only inches deep can cause pure panic for someone who’s never experienced it. We often panic in scenarios that are new to us. I quickly rolled him over so he could see that just laying on his back his face was out of the water and he could breath. Sometimes in life when we are facing the worst, we just have to stand up.
When you have too much, it’s hard to keep track of what brings you the most value
Daxton has more toys than I can count. He often scrambles from one toy to the next not fully enjoying each before moving onto the next “shiny object.” We had to head out and grab his sloth stuffed animal and a Mickey Mouse book, two toys we know he likes. During the three hours away from the unlimited number of options, he was perfectly content. Not only was he content but his level of focus and joy he had with those toys was more than we ever see at home. Sometimes eliminating the clutter in our lives can add clarity to our true winners. This goes for stocks, possessions and relationships.
Sticking to a routine brings order to chaos
When everything isn’t going as planned, the more routines we can stick with, the better. Kids like routine because it adds familiarity to their lives. The same is true for adults. This week, Daxton had to miss one of his naps… You all know how this went. The rest of the day was madness! He wouldn’t eat, couldn’t be consoled and wouldn’t go to bed. The next day we stuck with his routine and guess what?! He was a little angel. Adults, like children, need routine to keep order in their lives. If you’re working from home, on lockdown or any other disruption to your typical life, try and add some routine to keep your sanity.
The unexpected and unknown are what creates the most amount of fear
The hardest thing to deal with is uncertainty and the most uncertain things are the ones that are unexpected. Dax has been living like a king the past 19 months with the only people he’s competing with for attention are our two dogs, Nala and Paisley. That changed a few weeks ago when we found out my wife is pregnant with a boy! A new sibling to compete with his attention, like COVID-19 a few months ago, wasn’t on his radar. Now it’s going to impact every aspect of his life. Being adaptable to whatever life throws at you is one of the most important traits you can have.
The things that have been around the longest are usually around that long for a reason
In 1928, an anthropomorphic mouse was created that has brought incalculable amounts of joy to kids for over 90 years. With all of the iPads, remote control trucks, and endless number of technology driven toys, the one my son wants most is his Mickey Mouse toy. Things that stand the test of time stand the test of time for a reason. So when you’re contemplating reading the latest headline, twitter posts or blog article about what’s happening right now, maybe it’s better to pick up something that has stood the test of time. Something that will still be relevant in another 90 years, not just relevant in another 90 minutes.
Better to be prepared and not need it then needing it and not having it
Before all the restaurants switched to take-out only, we decided for a nice brunch at one of our favorite places. Dax was in a fresh diaper and looking dapper for Florida in his white shorts. The hot first sips of coffee had not even touched my lips when that dreadful smell all parents are familiar with burned my nostrils… We’ve got a poopy diaper. No problem, I asked my wife for the diaper bag. “He pooped 30 minutes ago and we had just changed him, we don’t have another diaper.” To say I didn’t enjoy our brunch would be an understatement. It’s better to be prepared and not need, then need and not be prepared. It doesn’t hurt during times like this to have at least 6 months of living expenses in cash, food to last you a couple weeks, and a backup plan.
Wounds heal but scars remain
Telling a kid not to touch the hot cup of coffee is never enough, they always have to see for themselves. A few weeks ago Dax nicked his hand on a mug of coffee and had a small wound that went away in a couple days. The wound healed so the memory is gone right? Not so fast. Now, every time he sees a mug of coffee he says “Hot! Hot! Hot!” and is overcome with fear of being burned again. Wounds will heal but the internal scars will be left. No matter what happens during these coming months, they will have a lasting impact on us the rest of our lives. We will fundamentally behave differently then we would have if we didn’t go through this. That may be for the positive or the negative. Only time will tell.
Diaper rash hurts
There is no takeaway here but avoid diaper rash.
“All the adversity I’ve had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me… You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.”
– Walt Disney
We will get through this.
Sean
